Update on me and a special thanks

Hey guys. Hope you all are feeling well and doing beautiful things

So, if you read my last journal--> I think i'm back...Man.. I haven't been on devientART in so long... I think I owe you all an explanation. Read at your own risk.
Last year I was having a really really hard time, in fact this started before last year, but 2015 was the hardest. I had lost my inspiration. I had no will to create anything... forcing myself to just made me feel worse. At my core is the artist, so not being able to create like I used to almost left like something died inside of me. Not only could I not create, I was stressed by several factors in my life. I won a scholarship for college, but in order to keep it I had to go full time at the college, something I was afraid to do because I have such a hard time with school and can get overwhelmed easily. I managed to do one semester just fine with 4 classes, but I was eager for a break afterwards, one I didn't get because I was told I had to also take summer classes... something I wasn't told before... so I took on summer 1 and summer 2 with little preparation, then right after then you know I've been going through emotional and personal issues. My motivation is not quite where it should be and i tend to get overwhelmed pretty easily recently. I will still not be doing any commissions through dA or anywhere else just yet. I'm going to try and focus on more local things if I can. Yeah, if any of you live on the Treasure Coast in South Florida and are having some sort of project and you need an artist I would be very interested. I think I would love working on a team with creative people in person.. I just need to find someone.......... Ok, before I get to ahead of myself i just want to stop and say thank you everyone who's still here with me and still comments and favorites and shows me any type pf support. I really do appreciate all of you. And I just checked(like right now just to see how many) to see how many watchers I still have cause I was sure I had lost some.... did not realize how many I ganged..... i have almost 1,000 watchers...... last time i checked it was like 300 or so, but 997..?????? I just literally teared up as I'm righting this, and I'm not sure why... but It just hit me. Thank you, thank you so much. That that many people like my work that much to hit the watch button... It really does mean so much. That's nearly 1,000 people who are interested my MY work.... the reason I joined dA was to share my art, my mind, parts of who I am with more than just family, cause that is literally all I could do before dA, I didn't have friends or a platform growing up. So having that many people just blow me out of the water. I so wish that I could do something for you now, but I can't a this moment, for those personal reason i stated before. I wish I could thank each and every one of you personally, but I can't do that either. Ok, drying tears... Now I forget what direction I wanted to take this journal.......

Ok, I just want to say that I want to do better here and on my facebook page. I so badly want to be creating again on a regular basis... I'm feeling really good about it now, I might actually become something I can be proud of again. I do have some art underway, one take priority at the moment, another painting. So that might take a while, but fear not and know that I am working on art. I've got a lot in my head of what i want and all I can do i go for it and I'm gunna try. I know what to avoid so i dont throw myself down that terrible path again, but I think I'm gunna work harder for the things I really want.... This new attitude is kind of sudden for me... started brewing in the beginning of this month and I finally arrived at a point where I can make a conscious decision to change things. There is an inspiration behind it and it has a name, but I'm not gunna mention it now(those who know me on facebook probably know what I'm talking about) cause that would just make this journal into something so long that no one would want to read and just doing a little mention might be confusing without the whole context... and I night start crying again cause apparently I'm like that tonight I'll do a proper journal as to why my soul found the proper inspiration again. It might be kind of odd, but I don't care.  I don't want to make this as long as the last journal so I'll cut it off here, though it probably already is cause I ramble... Just another thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys are the best.

Oh and some advice? I want to spread my reach further on the internet. Like I have my dA page, my facebook page www.facebook.com/Alysia-Ariana… I've been thinking of getting an actual website as well... do you guys think that's a good idea? if so what would you recommend? Also I just made a youtube account.. I didn't make it for art, actually made it for a very specific reason.. but I wanted to know if you guys think an artist like me can use a youtube account to her advantage? If so, any advice would be appreciated.

If you've made it this far thank you for sitting through all that. I'll leave you now because looking at the computer screen in a dark house(1am here) after just crying actually gave me a headache. So I've gotta get off. Love you all!!




May God bless